JSUFYF: The Creation Museum

My favo(u)rite newspaper, the Guardian, did a story on the Creation Museum. Here's a teaser:

'We don't have to be afraid of the real evidence' – Creation Museum

A trip to the Creation Museum seems like harmless fun until you see the eager schoolchildren streaming through its doors

• Neil Denny
• guardian.co.uk, Wednesday 6 June 2012 10.31 EDT

I've talked to a number of theoretical physicists during my tour of America, and often the subject of parallel universes has come up. This week I actually got to visit one, when I spent a disorientating afternoon in Petersburg, Kentucky, at the Creation Museum. 

The Creation Museum bills itself as a natural history museum, but it's one from a world in which we are certain that God created the Earth and everything in it, roughly 6,000 years ago, and all in six days. Anything that looks older – fossilised dinosaur bones, multiple strata of sedimentary rock, signs of ancient water erosion and the moving of the continents – were all caused by one catastrophic event, the flood that Noah and his family so adroitly survived by building a massive floating menagerie.

There are zillions of links to this abomination on the Intertubes if you're curious.

And now for the rant:  If you, Ken Ham, are going to lie about something that has far more evidence for it (evolution) than creationism, what the f*** else are you lying about? Why should anyone trust you to be telling the truth about being saved, if you're going to lie about the evidence? I can look up in the sky and see celestial objects further away than the six- or eight-thousand years you claim the earth is. How did their light get here if (for example) the light from the Andromeda Galaxy took 2 million plus years to get here? OH, and don't give me some crap about the speed of light changing (no proof of that) or some idea that Gawd (not to be mistaken for God) just called the light into being in transit.

Ken, you make your gawd into a pissant, not worthy of worship. No thanks. Here's your Jesus Facepalm:

I have nothing to add to Ken Ham's colossal attempt to drag us back to 5000 BC. Even the early Church Fathers knew Genesis wasn't a literal account. *shakes head* Ken, you're making us the butt of jokes around the world. NO THANKS.

ETA:  There's a reason Ken Ham set up shop in the USA. He's originally from Australia, but they're smarter than this. So he had to come to the USA, where people are easily manipulated by men with "Rev." or "Brother" or "Father" in front of their names.

JSUFYF: Teenager spouting anti-gay rhetoric

Caiden Cowger is 14 years old and thinks he's really smart. He thinks he knows it all. And one thing he thinks he knows is that people choose to be gay. Yeah riiiiiight. People choose to be gay so they can be bashed by the so-called "good Christians," both verbally and physically. People choose to be gay so that they can have their civil rights stomped on because they're not heterosexual. People choose...hell no, GLBT people don't choose! I'm heterosexual and I don't remember when I chose to be straight. It is a part of who you are.

Caiden Cowger used to have a channel on YouTube, but his latest rant got so much negative attention he took it down (but here's the original link to a 404 page). However, like everything else that ends up on the Internet, his rant will live forever somewhere. Another YTer copied it and uploaded it....all four minutes and 35 seconds of spewing hate and vitriol.

Young Mr. Cowger is also being taken apart on his Facebook. I expect it to be locked down in 3...2....

People can believe what they want, but the moment their beliefs lead to harm to other people, that's when it absolutely has to stop. Kids have killed themselves because they were bullied over being gay or lesbian. Cowger mocks the "It Gets Better" campaign, but hells bells, does he not see the body count of kids who took their own lives because they heard over and over and over and over and over again how incredibly worthless they were because they were gay, how God hated them, how they were going to hell, etc. etc.? He probably hasn't faced it.

I was bullied in school, not because I was a lesbian, but because I was perceived as strange, weird, weak and powerless. I frankly hated middle school. I would not want a kid to go through that, yet this young man encourages hatred of his fellow human beings because they don't conform to his idea of sexuality. I'm so disgusted.

Jesus is quoted in the Synoptic Gospels as telling questioners to "love your neighbor as yourself" (Matthew 5:43, Mark 12:31, Luke 10:27). In the Gospel of Luke, he told this to a teacher of the law, who responded: "Who is my neighbor?" Jesus responded with the parable of the Good Samaritan, with the conclusion that the good Samaritan was the true neighbor, and not the priest and Levite who didn't bother to help the man who had been mugged on the road (Luke 10:30-37).

Here's a special image for Caiden. It's not a Jesus Facepalm.

But still, the cry goes up to Heaven:

JESUS, SAVE US FROM YOUR FOLLOWERS!

(Hat tip to Think Progress.)

JSUFYF: Churches getting tax money

I'm going to be blunt:  I believe the churches (synagogues, mosques, covens) should be taxed--but, like regular taxpayers, they can get exemptions and deductions on their taxes if they spend the money they collect in tithes and offerings on charitable activities. I've lived in places (Utah and Arizona) where the dominant religious groups owned a lot of property, which was removed from the tax base, making the burden higher for the rest of us. And this doesn't include all the perks that ministers get, including a parsonage allowance, which can be excluded from gross income for tax purposes, but not from self-employment taxes (per the Internal Revenue Service).

That out of the way, let me proceed to two examples of the state giving churches money that should not be done.

• Louisiana:  Gov. Bobby (Piyush) Jindal has decided that anyone who can run a school can be funded by state tax dollars, even if the school is religious. Even if the school is using religious curricula. From a June 1 Reuters article:

  Louisiana is embarking on the nation's boldest experiment in privatizing public education, with the state preparing to shift tens of millions in tax dollars out of the public schools to pay private industry, businesses owners and church pastors to educate children.

  And it goes on from there:

  At Eternity Christian Academy in Westlake, pastor-turned-principal Marie Carrier hopes to secure extra space to enroll 135 voucher students, though she now has room for just a few dozen. Her first- through eighth-grade students sit in cubicles for much of the day and move at their own pace through Christian workbooks, such as a beginning science text that explains "what God made" on each of the six days of creation. They are not exposed to the theory of evolution. 

  "We try to stay away from all those things that might confuse our children," Carrier said.

• Texas:  Americans United (AU) asked the Texas Education Agency (TEA) to investigate the Shekinah Learning Institute, which got $12.63 million in tax dollars in the 2010-2011 school year. The administrator of Shekinah is also the pastor of Shadrach Temple International Church. Problems AU cited included:  promoting weekly chapel classes, offering weekly Bible study and using a religious name and logo, all of which (according to AU) could be violations of the First Amendment.
  But even more problematic to me is this list of allegations that came out after the first complaint was filed. These are not tiny things either. From the Alternet article: 

* Shekinah used taxpayer money for the renovation and upkeep of Washington's church;
* Shekinah gave school funds to defray operating costs at Washington's church;
* School employees were told to help the church conduct its business;
* Shekinah paid church employees with taxpayer funds;
* Shekinah paid higher salaries to employees who were members of Washington's church than to equally qualified employees who were not church members.

Now, if churches want to run their own little schools and not teach the kids the truth, I think that's a bad thing, but they can do it--BUT NOT WITH MY TAX DOLLARS. I don't care what your religion is, I don't want my tax dollars going to support the indoctrination of children in the guise of public education. Because it's not. And in the case of the Shekinah schools, if the allegations are proven, then it's obvious the organization was using tax dollars as a slush fund to support church activities. Because, as I learned in law school oh so many years ago, money is fungible. And any money given to a church to ostensibly upgrade classrooms (which are also used for Sunday school, no doubt) also has the effect of freeing up church monies for other activities--you know, like running campaigns against gay rights. On top of that, if a pastor is paying congregation members more because they work for her, and this is coming out of state money, the pastor stands to benefit. Why? Because she knows how much they're being paid, and she is expecting her 10 percent cut (aka tithe) off the top. Like I said...money's fungible.

For that, we award the governor of Louisiana and the Texas Education Agency a Jesus Facepalm:

Update June 9, 2012:  Americans United's magazine, Church and State, has a special report, Showdown at Shekinah, which is definitely worth a read.

Snake handlers

Snake handlers are a teeny, tiny subset of Pentecostal Holiness believers. They take the following Scripture as their charter:

¹⁷ And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues;¹⁸ They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.

link to Mark 16

Some of the groups practicing snake handling call themselves the Church of God (or Jesus) with Signs Following*, based on these verses. (It should be noted, however, that this is called the "longer ending" to Mark and is not found in all the manuscripts, indicating it's a later addition.) Followers of this faith tend to be concentrated in southern Appalachia, that is, in corners of Kentucky, Tennessee, West Virginia, Georgia, and North and South Carolina.

Years ago I read Dennis Covington's Salvation on Sand Mountain, which consists of an expansion of Covington's reporting on the trial of one of the snake handlers, not for handling snakes, but for trying to have a snake bite and kill his wife and make it look like suicide. Glenn Summerford was convicted and, as a result, snake handling declined for the better part of two decades. Thomas Burton tells Glenn Summerford's story in The Serpent and the Spirit, published in 2004 (which I have not read). But I can heartily recommend Covington's book.

Coming forward now to 2012, and the snake handlers are back in the news.

The Washington Post published a story and photos in November 2011 about Randy "Mack" Wolford, a 44-year-old snake handler who was basically a snake handling evangelist, trying to revive the practice in Appalachia. Several months later, at the end of May, Wolford died from a snake bite. Interestingly enough, Lauren Pond, the photojournalist who documented the November story, happened to be on hand for the church service and Wolford's subsequent death. She documented the aftermath of the rattlesnake bite and his subsequent death and wrote about it for the Post. She was also roundly criticized for not trying to save Wolford's life, but in her defense, I don't think Wolford wanted to be saved in that way. He wanted to trust in God, even if it meant his death.

But that hasn't stopped even younger snake handlers from stepping up since Wolford's death. The Tennessean newspaper published a profile of a young snake handler named Andrew Hamblin from La Follette, Tennessee and it was picked up by USA Today. (Note to the Tennessean, I'd link to your story but that YOU HAVE 20 STORIES LEFT popup is annoying.) I found this article in a roundabout way, following a discussion about Andrew's wife, Liz, on a message board I frequent. I found her Facebook (which is absolutely open to the world) and the first picture as of today is one of her handling a snake at a church service:

From there I went to her husband's page and then discovered he'd been profiled in an article.

I can't award a "Jesus, Save Us From Your Followers" facepalm to the snake handlers, because they're not trying to impose their beliefs on us. They're very clear that the only people who should be handling snakes or drinking poison or passing fire should be adults who have been touched by the Spirit. That said, this is not something I would ever do. Ever.

-----------
* The Church of God With Signs Following is trinitarian, while the Church of Jesus With Signs Following is unitarian/oneness.

JSUFYF: Killlll the unbeliever...Killllll

Yes, that's what the Good News Clubs are going to teach their young captive audiences next school year. They get to learn about how Saul disobeyed God by not killing all the Amalekites. Saul's mistake was to spare the Amalekite king and the Amalekite livestock. (See 1 Samuel 15 for the story.)

And, yes, I said "school year." The Good News Clubs, the indoctrination arm of Child Evangelism Fellowship, have as their specific purpose to evangelize children in the public schools. And we're not talking teenagers, either. We're talking elementary school kids. 

Katherine Stewart has been following the Child Evangelism Fellowship for some time now and published a book earlier this year called The Good News Club:  The Christian Right's Stealth Assault on America's Children. In an op-ed piece for the UK Guardian (one of my very favorite newspapers), she writes:

 In the most recent version of the curriculum, however, the group is quite eager to drive the message home to its elementary school students. The first thing the curriculum makes clear is that if God gives instructions to kill a group of people, you must kill every last one:

"You are to go and completely destroy the Amalekites (AM-uh-leck-ites) – people, animals, every living thing. Nothing shall be left."

"That was pretty clear, wasn't it?" the manual tells the teachers to say to the kids.
Even more important, the Good News Club wants the children to know, the Amalakites were targeted for destruction on account of their religion, or lack of it. The instruction manual reads:

"The Amalekites had heard about Israel's true and living God many years before, but they refused to believe in him. The Amalekites refused to believe in God and God had promised punishment."

The instruction manual goes on to champion obedience in all things. In fact, pretty much every lesson that the Good News Club gives involves reminding children that they must, at all costs, obey. If God tells you to kill nonbelievers, he really wants you to kill them all. No questions asked, no exceptions allowed.
Asking if Saul would "pass the test" of obedience, the text points to Saul's failure to annihilate every last Amalekite, posing the rhetorical question:

"If you are asked to do something, how much of it do you need to do before you can say, 'I did it!'?"

"If only Saul had been willing to seek God for strength to obey!" the lesson concludes. 

A review question in the textbook seeks to drive the point home further:

"How did King Saul only partly obey God when he attacked the Amalekites? (He did not completely destroy as God had commanded, he kept the king and some of the animals alive.)"

link

It's not like using this particular story doesn't have real-world import. In 1994, Hutu preachers used the story of Saul and the Amalekites to whip their congregants into a frenzy against the Tutsi, leading to the Rwandan genocide.

I'm not a fan of the Good News Clubs because I believe young children should not be indoctrinated with religion on the school grounds, even if it is after school. I think this is a huge hole in the wall separating church and state. 

And this specific lesson...well, how are you going to know if it's really God telling you to kill the unbelievers? In Saul's case, it wasn't that he, Saul, heard directly from God, it was Samuel the prophet who heard from God and told Saul what to do. Isn't that the way it always is? The modern-day analogue is the Hutu preachers who told their congregations they'd heard from God that the Tutsi had to be slaughtered. Or, closer to home, the pastor in the pulpit down at First Church of We're Saved and You're Not preaching to his congregation that the ho-mo-SEX-uals are so totally evil and something must be done about them. We know where that leads--to little kids singing songs about gays not going to heaven.  And that's just for starters.

For that, we award the Child Evangelism Fellowship and its Good News Clubs the following Jesus Facepalm:

The Child Evangelism Fellowship apparently missed the lessons on loving your neighbor as yourself and who is your neighbor, starring the hated Samaritans, during Sunday School growing up.

(post title with apologies to Charlie the Unicorn at 1:17)

(hat tip to Alecto at Free Jinger).

What I did on my spring vacation

I drove over to Santa Fe for a week and took a class on icon painting. I really enjoyed it.

This is an icon of the Virgin Mary. I have to thank my teacher, Philip Davydov, for all the help he provided. About the only thing I can say was truly my work was the painted ribbon and the gilding around the face.

If you're interested in icon painting (also known as icon writing), Philip comes from Russia to the USA about once a year and does a few classes. Here is his website:  Sacred Murals Studio. Philip knows his stuff and is amazingly patient. I've done a few other classes with other teachers (not just icons) and this was probably my favorite class because Philip has such a great personality and is very easygoing. It was a most enjoyable week!

I should note that I don't consider myself religious and I consider myself "post-churched." (Been there, done that, got the commemorative Bible stuffed full of old church bulletins.) But I do have a great interest in religious art, particularly popular devotional art.

JSUFYF: Mold in the bathroom usually means...

...you need to get out the Lysol and go to town. It is not a signal to call up the local news channel and tell them you've got Jesus on your wall.

May 31, 2012 (HOUSTON) -- A family in Splendora claims they have a holy vision inside their home, an image of Jesus created by mold in a bathroom. They say the image is giving them strength.

We've all seen the stories: a Virgin Mary sighting in a grilled cheese sandwich, in the side of a tree, or Jesus' face on a tortilla. We guess you've never seen one like this -- inside a shower.

"People say your house is blessed," said Chyanna Richards. "I see the head, the hair, a cloak."

link

No, they're saying "Bless your heart" because what they're seeing is a bathroom full of mold that is desperately crying out for a bucket of bleach and a bunch of scrub brushes.